what they don't tell you

Since I have been pregnant for nearly 8 weeks now, I am obviously an expert, right?  Right.  Thank you for your affirmation.  So I have decided to share some things about pregnancy that no one told me beforehand.

1)  My skin does not glow, and my acne has not magically disappeared.  I was under the impression that the moment I became pregnant my complexion would be stunning.  Passerby would be dazzled by my smooth, milky face and adorable pink cheeks.  LIES.  That must not start until later in the pregnancy.  Because right now, Little Rice is causing me to break out.  We're talking junior year of high school here.  I also read this morning that I am not supposed to dab my zit cream on my pimples now that I'm pregnant because it contains benzoyle peroxide.  So these puppies are here to stay.  And no, it's not because I'm eating greasy foods or not drinking enough water; I hardly eat any food, and I only drink water.  So there.

2)  Allow me to be frank: the constipation. is. killing. me.  I am normally a twice-a-day little pooper.  And now, it's more like every four days.  I miss you, toilet.  I have a hot date with Mr. Walgreens tomorrow to pick out a nice jar of Metamucil.  Yummy.

3)  The bloat.  No, you definitely can not see a baby bump.  What you see is a baby bloat.  It is most likely caused by item number two, see above.

4) The little stabbing pains in the tum.  I'm hoping that this is normal, otherwise someone slipped Little Rice a screwdriver while I wasn't looking and she's been playing a super fun game called Jab The Mommy.

5) Morning sickness... seriously?  Just mornings?  No way.  If I have 3 hours a day when I don't feel like I have the stomach flu, that day counts as a feel-good party time.

6) I am tired.  All the time.  I did dishes this evening for about 15 minutes and then I had to lie down for half an hour.  So then I did not finish the dishes.  And they will stink tomorrow.  And the smell will make me sick, so I won't be able to clean the dishes.  It's a never-ending circle.

7) My joints hurt.  My mother said it's because the joints start loosening up when you're pregnant.  All I know is that my knees and shoulders hurt at night when I'm in bed.  Weird.

8) Here's something that IS true:  it's all totally worth it.  I would (and will) go through so much more in order to meet Baby Rice.