I'm not talking about helpful, warranted advice that I've asked for. I have asked friends and family for advice on how to encourage Evelyn to crawl, how to curb her temper tantrums, and more.
It's the unsolicited advice that is frustrating.
Here is the list of things that make me a bad parent. If you're the parent of a wee one, hopefully you will find it a bit freeing and liberating.
- Evelyn's car seat is facing forward. She is over 20 pounds, so it's legal, although the new recommendation is to keep kids backwards until they're two years old. But judgey moms would like Evelyn to face backwards until she's 5'10" and 35 years old. What they don't know is that she turns into a screaming banshee when she's facing backward, but is completely content when facing forward. And I am a much safer driver and make better decisions when there isn't a banshee in the back seat.
- Evelyn won't crawl. This is obviously my fault because I didn't put her on her tummy enough when she was younger. However, the banshee always came back when it was tummy time.
- Since Evelyn won't crawl, I am supposed to find a way to force her, or else she will be a poor reader. I don't know where this damn study came from that everyone references, but I'm pretty sure you can spend an hour with my daughter and realize that she will be just fine. She loves books, and will sit for half an hour and read with me. Not a bad attention span. She also turns the pages for me. She does it by herself as well, and she can even turn the pages with her feet.
- We got her vaccinated. I know, heaven forbid. And yes, it did make her a little sick for a week or so after each shot. But I'm pretty sure that those vaccines solve more problems than they create. And what if God wants us to go to another country, one where those vaccines are life-saving?
- There's a bumper in Evelyn's crib. Judgey moms tell me that my daughter will roll into it and suffocate. They don't know that my daughter has no problem rolling away from it, and apparently practices gymnastics in bed each night. They also don't know that when we removed the bumper for a month, Evelyn would wake up screaming every night because multiple limbs would be stuck outside the bars of the crib.
- She also sleeps with a blanket. *GASP* The girl just wants to snuggle with something - anything - and won't sleep without one in her crib.
- I only breastfed Evelyn for about 7 months. I was on my way to drying up anyway, but since that darn baby never breastfed a day in her life, I was spending so much time hooked up to the pump. My emotional health required me to GET AWAY FROM THAT THING.
- People have told me that she would have eventually breastfed if I hadn't given her a bottle, so I set myself up for that failure. Well, she didn't have a bottle for the first 36 hours of her life, and she wouldn't breastfeed. She just cried, got weaker, and lost weight, but she never breastfed. We tried every couple hours, but nope. So those people are wrong. She was starving, but still couldn't breastfeed. Bottles are a slightly better option than starving, in my opinion.
- My daughter is going to be emotionally stunted because she never slept with us (co-slept). She never slept in our bed, and she never slept in a bassinet in our room. She has slept in her crib since the day we brought her home from the hospital. I didn't want to start a habit we would then have to break. And we have a queen sized bed in a small bedroom, so there wasn't much room for her anyway. Guess what else... We don't even have a monitor. I know. But Evelyn's room is only 4 steps from ours, so it wasn't a necessity. Guess what else. She's slept through the night since she was a month and a half. Booyah.
- Here's the biggest judgey thing: I had a c-section. When I told a "friend" that my doctor had scheduled a c-section, she was horrified. Apparently that leads to all kinds of health risks for me and the baby. When I explained that Evelyn was breech, and that we had done everything possible to try and turn her, that didn't matter. It didn't matter that there are zero doctors in Colorado Springs who will deliver your 1st child breech. She told me that there's one in Denver. Yes, because when I'm in labor, I really want to hop in the car and fight traffic up to Denver. But she pressured me most to have a homebirth, because midwives will deliver breech babies. My first time giving birth, and it was a high-risk pregnancy, and I'd been monitored in the hospital every week for the last two months, and I was just supposed to pop out a breech baby on the rug in my living room? Right.
|And she doesn't even have a sun hat on. Mercy me.|